I remember the challenges of growing up in a home with codependency and addiction, outbursts and emotional shutdowns, shame, guilt, helplessness, voicelessness, and defensiveness- the constant confusion, loneliness, feeling vastly different from my peers, keeping to myself in the search for space, and feeling unwell in my body. I felt everything and everyone too much and my body was full of mysterious tension, sick feelings, and all my senses were screaming…no wonder I decided to be a psychotherapist!

I was 22 when I sought out my first psychotherapist. I wasn’t exactly sure why; I just knew something didn’t feel good and I was suffering without the words to describe it. I was shaking and I’m sure my eyes were looking everywhere but at the therapist. I didn’t really know how to ask for help. I was supposed to be the strong one, the one who was always fine, and the one who didn’t have needs. Unfortunately, that therapist was not the right fit for me, I only did one session, and then I went a whole year continuing to feel something was just not right, holding it in, and doing damage to my life until I found the right therapist and my “work” finally began.

My first real therapist stepped into the swampland of my experience, never trying to invalidate or rob me of the growing pains of unmasking and pursuing deeper understanding. I was safe with her, and I felt it in my bones. Slowly, I learned that the purpose of my life was not about being strong, self controlled, and overriding my body and emotions. I felt seen and supported as I delved into self examination and I found new meaning in my life. She asked me poignant questions that I still wasn’t ready to answer honestly, but she planted seeds that later blossomed.

There were other brilliant therapists that followed as I journeyed on through the highs and lows of life. Talking about my feelings was helpful, understanding my family dynamics was important, but I also needed to repair my attachment system, learn self compassion, reconnect with my body, and repair my nervous system. There was also a growing sense inside me that there was a missing piece to how I was treating trauma in my clients, and I knew it had something to do with physiology and attunement to physical sensations. Talk therapy wasn’t enough.

It’s fascinating to understand the role of the autonomic nervous system and to use this as a lens for examining and understanding suffering. I’m a total geek when it comes to current research on healing and living with greater ease in the world. You can’t talk your way out of trauma, pain, or discomfort. The modalities I use involve using the body as a resource, rather than working purely cognitively or by changing our thinking. I work in a slow, supportive way to engage, complete, and resolve the body’s instinctual fight, flight, and freeze responses that became locked in due to traumatic events or prolonged exposure to abuse or neglect. Expanding the capacity of the nervous system, enhancing resilience to stress, and increasing our vitality, and capacity to actively engage in life are the foundations of Somatic Experiencing®.

I am a human devoted to deeper understanding, transformation, and holding hope when it feels like all hope is lost. I have experienced trauma, hardship, mental health crisis, breakdowns, and breakthroughs. My deepest priority is shedding the layers of untruth and embodying love and healing. I am one of the lucky ones who always knew what they wanted to do and had the privilege of being able to pursue my passion. Professionally speaking, I completed my undergraduate degree with Honours in 2004, worked as a trauma counsellor at a shelter for women and children fleeing domestic violence for 4 years, and then completed a Masters in Counselling Psychology in 2011. I worked in the social services for 13 years in the Violence Against Women sector and doing Rape Crisis centre therapy. I have been in private practice for over 10 years and have pursued high level trainings, most recently in the areas of the neurobiology of trauma, attachment, and emotional regulation. I am a believer in our body and mind’s innate capacity to heal.

If you still want to know more about me: Every time I get the chance, I am in nature, ideally, barefoot. I love animals, reading, binging Netflix, and am a world traveler. I am a committed meditator, community builder, and I force myself to work out on a regular basis. I am a proud member of the LGBTQIA2S+ community. I laugh at myself a lot. I am an old soul who is tuned in, feels a lot, and loves uncensored, authentic conversation. I know first-hand the importance of having compassionate, attuned support for engaging in deep work and I am here for it.

With tons of love,
Monica